Teresa’s Blog

Let me just say upfront that I HATE reality TV. I think my day to day life is real enough, thank you very much. But lately, God has been calling to my attention how much I live in fear.

At the beginning of the year, I ask God for a scripture to meditate on for the new year. (Beats the heck out of resolutions!) This year He called my attention to Psalm 27. It hit me right off. “Whom shall I fear?”

That’s rhetorical, right?

Well, God doesn’t call attention to something and then just leave me alone. One of the first fears that I’m having to face is the fear of doctors. Now, mind you, I’m not afraid of the PERSON necessarily, but of what the doctor represents to me:
-condemnation for not having been to see a doctor in 2 years
-condemnation for being overweight.
-fear of what health issues might really be there
-fear that I might have to change my life

You get the picture. Well I really have been convicted about this area of fear in my life, so I decided to act on it. (Just how many times does the Bible say “Fear not!”?) I made an appointment to see a doctor who not only is a friend of ours, but who specializes in medical weight loss. My first appointment went as I expected.

First, she DID get on me about not having been in for my annual and mammogram in 2 years.

Second, she was obviously on me about my weight.

Third, she tested for health issues that might be there.

and Fourth, she told me I was going to have to change my life.

But there was a major difference. EVERYTHING she said and did, she did out of concern for me, NOT condemnation. I left feeling strangely hopeful.

The next week when I went back, the test results were in. Not a pretty sight. As suspected, I tested positive for Type II Diabetes. Level 3 Obesity. High cholesterol. Danger of heart attack, stroke, etc. So, that which I had so greatly feared has come upon me. Strangely, I felt so calm as we discussed what changes I would be making in my life. Not fearful, calm. Even hopeful.

“The LORD is my salvation. Whom shall I fear?” I am certain that God is going to use this year to get me healthier. Healthier in body, soul, and mind. Since starting this new way of living, I am DAILY seeing God be my salvation as I throw myself on Him for strength to make it through. My enemies (myself foremost) have surrounded me, but God will hide me, and I don’t need to fear either failure or success. (Yes, I fear both.) As long as I am in Christ, I have nothing to fear.

Not even the Girl Scout cookies that just arrived.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 17th, 2004 at 6:50 pm and is filed under Unloading My Brain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.