One-Day Vacations
Dear Body of Christ,
We missed you all on Sunday, but what we really needed was a one day vacation to the SECOND HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! (Parking $9.00)
The Jenkins/Groce/Modesitt families decided that King’s Island wouldn’t survive without our attendance (money), and seeing that Weird Al Yankovic was going to be there in concert, Sunday seemed to be the obvious choice. (You’re not surprised about our affection for Weird Al, are you.)
My sister and her husband (suffering from a disabling back injury. no less), their three children and the seven of us decided to meet at the Eifel Tower at 10:30am. The Modesitt’s traveled to King’s Island on Saturday afternoon and spent the evening at a hotel enjoying the pool. Well, actually my sister didn’t enjoy it much as she was allergic to the pool chemicals being used.
Our caravan left a little shy of the “butt crack of dawn” that had been MY family tradition, but we were on our way before 7:30am. Mark and I traveled down memory lane thinking of how we used to load a cooler, bags of snacks, pillows, blankets, books, toys, car seats, and assorted children into the car for a one day trip. Now we just want to get there. No frills, just get in the car and go. Stop for air in the tires, stop for three “Egg McMoofins” and a Breakfast Burrito, and we are on our way!
Highlight of the car trip: NO BATHROOM STOPS! Think of it all you dear people out there with small children, NO BATHROOM STOPS. It was glorious! Upon arriving at our assigned parking space in Drop Zone 39, we walked QUICKLY to the entrance. Entering King’s Island post 9/11 is a bit more complicated than it used to be. Metal detectors and plastic bowls are involved. Mark and Andrew got busted for their deadly pen knives and had to leave them in the Security Office for later retrieval. (Don’t you feel safer just knowing that no one in King’s Island is carrying a pen knife?) My brother-in law Jeff, (Mr. Back Injury) had a harder time getting through. He has metal in his spine, and a spinal implant that scrambles the nerve signals to his brain to keep his brain from telling him that he is in HORRIBLE PAIN. This device requires a REMOTE to operate. I’m sure you get the picture. No, really, it’s a remote for control of my pain!
After some much needed relief, (NO BATHROOM STOPS!), we ran the gauntlet pass the “everyone get together so we can take your picture” people and headed for the Scooby Doo Haunted Mansion. You get to shine floodlights at the ghosts in this attraction, and they keep score. Momma J.:290, Andrew: 1800. Are we having fun yet?
Our gathering at the Tower was perfectly timed, and we enjoyed a ride up the elevator of the “1/3rd the size of the original” with 27 of our closest “friends” and “Sheckie” the 80 year old elevator operator who took the opportunity to try out some of his new material on the captive audience. (My dog was running a fever the other day so I took him to the vet. Know what they gave him? Mustard. That’s what you put on a hot dog.)
The rest of the day involved much walking, heat, Sponge Bob in 3-D (a MUST in my book) Chili-vision, and generally a bunch of rides. Lest you think that I couldn’t find God in all of this, YOU ARE WRONG. Most of these rides are designed to bring you closer to your Maker and illustrate the value of straight and level paths. Much prayer was being offered up.
The Weird Al concert was being held at King’s Island’s Timberwolf Amphitheater at 7:30pm (6:30pm in Indiana) Now, think about what the weather was like here on Sunday evening. Ah. My children and my husband will tell you that God and I have a thing about the weather. (Elaine can testify to this as well.) So, as the stage dude is announcing an impending thunderstorm with heavy downpours of rain expected, (did I mention that Timberwolf is an OUTDOOR venue?) it occured to me that I ought to pray. We stayed seated and while we did get a little wet, the storm went over and the concert went on after about an hour delay.
Weird Al, what can I say? He opened with a Polka Medley. Perfect, except I’m apparently getting old. I only knew one song in the medley (Slim Shady). He put on a great show of old favorites (My Bologna, Eat It - complete with fat suit, That’s Your Horoscope for Today, and many others), and changed costumes constantly. It was fun to see my family members standing and dancing and being told by the security dude to sit down. Weird Al’s encore was his Star Wars parody songs, so our crew left happy.
After enduring the line of Security Infractors, Mark and Andrew were reunited with their knives and we were able to return to our cars in relative safety.
No trip to King’s Island is complete until a stop is made at McD’s for body fuel to return home by. We were on our way back to Indy by 11:00pm Indiana time.
Vacation in a day. Arrived home around 1:00am (NO BATHROOM STOPS!) and cast lots for our turns in our single bathroom. Collapsed into bed and thanked God for family, friends, safety, and one day vacations.
July 29th, 2003 at 8:06 pm
No way…first I connect with the Jenkins/Groces on the whole Homestar Runner thing…and now Weird Al, too. It really is destiny that I am here…
Did you know that I saw the “Running With Scissors” tour? It was incredible. We must host a Weird Al fiesta sometime.
:p
July 29th, 2003 at 8:23 pm
My most vivid recollections are as follows:
Staying up to late the night before, regret the next morning (a recurring memory).
Can’t listen to the radio because kids were up later than me at drum corps show and need sleep. Alternate entertainment: Teresa reading almost entire book of Hebrews out loud.
Passing an older Mecury Topaz (Ford Tempo) on I-74 that was smoking a bit (oil) and the front driver-side tire bouncing excessively while commenting about how bad that was and wondering if they had it balanced.
At parking lot car entrance, being handed a flyer about helicopter rides being available next to the “Flight of Fear” ride.
At parking lot car entrance, being handed a flyer for television shows produced by Paramount (that’s Paramount’s King’s Island).
Walking.
At park entrance metal detectors/security station: Andrew asking why they are afraid of a pen knife at King’s Island. Me saying that they heard the Effel Tower is a terrorist target and pen knife could be used to cut leg off tower (in about 100 years).
Walking.
Riding through Scooby Doo Haunted Mansion and thinking, “Disney World has nothing like this!”
Walking.
Experiencing an attack of “Skyline Chili-Vision” while waiting in line for the Sponge Bob 3-D ride. Jeff M., Andrew and I jumped out of line to satisfy ourselves while Teresa and her sister bravely continued on.
Walking.
Running into Sarah’s friend Jamie (Noah and Hope’s mother) and Jamie’s friend from work. Jamie said they saw us go past them on the highway right before one of their car’s (her friend’s car) tire blow out, how they could not find an inexpensive replacement on a Sunday and were driving on a “donut” spare. Also finding out that their car was the one I mentioned above with the bouncing tire (that blew). Jeff M. mentioned that the bouncing was most likely a broken and/or slipped steel belt that finally sliced through the side wall of the tire.
Walking.
Dining on haute cuisine of pulled pork sandwiches, cole slaw and fries in the “Wings” restaurant (air conditioned, oh joy!) while thinking, “It doesn’t get any better than this!” (It doesn’t, really. It was not any better than the year before and year before that.)
Sitting.
While waiting for some of the others to finish the Tomb Raider ride, I (the professor) gave an impromtu lecture to my two nephews on the retrograde motion of the outer planets of our solar system. They declined the follow-up presentation of red shift/doppler shift.
Sitting.
Calling the others many times on our cells phones only to say, “Where are you now?”
Sitting in the rain - a little cold - a little wet (stayed seated; dry buns).
Found out Jamie and her friend had talked to Sarah about waiting for us at the gate so drive home together. Thinking about “donut” spare has recommended max speed of 45-50 mph and how long to get home. Rides stopped during rain. Teresa wondering if Jamie might leave park early to start home.
Sitting waiting for W.A.Y. concert to start. Concert starts, good sound level, good sound mix. As evening progresses, sound man gets drunk and hearing goes south with him - volume keeps going up, mix quality comes and goes, occurences of feedback squeal increase in frequency with time - have to duck down behind people in front of me to get out of the jet wash. Al was great, though.
Walking (with big crowd).
Standing in line at security window to retrieve “my precious”. Turn in my redemption ticket and find out “I a winner!”
Finally getting on the road home with Teresa saying that she is feeling good and can help me stay awake and watch for Jamie and her friend’s car. Within the hour all occupants other than myself are quiet and resting peacefully.
We never see Jamie/friend’s car and find out later (she called Sarah the next day or two) that they got home alright. Thank you, Lord, for all that you do.
Get up next morning and feel fine (not sore, not stiff, not sun burned). Thank you again, Lord.
July 29th, 2003 at 8:48 pm
First of all, Mark needs a blog.
Second of all, Teresa and God have a thing about the weather…it is true. Come to think of it, God and I have a thing about the weather, too. Thing is, Teresa trusts God for good weather when needed and I believe I will be killed in a tornado.
Third of all, that is a great story, and I am glad you all are back safe and sound.
July 29th, 2003 at 9:52 pm
I would like to add my 2 cents about our trip.
First of all, I bet most of you don’t know that King’s Island has been the Jenkins family’s private vacation spot for years. Don’t knock it… short drive, thrill rides, water park, and food. No sense in driving all the way to Florida. (tried that once, haven’t been since)
Anyway, I wanted to give you a different look at this day. Scooby Doo/Eifel Tower… the most time we all spent together prior to the concert. Oh, we met up a few times. Mostly to beg for money and/or food. The “young(er)” people (minus the Bubs) set out for adventure. The Parentals (and the Bubs) went walking, sitting, and Sponge Bob-ing. For a little while we thought Brian would need a transfer to the walk/sit unit due to intolerance of heat and sun. (he made a recovery after the Wild Thornberrys Log Ride) Amber and I “ran out of time” to do the Bungee Ball. (awww, too bad)
Finally, we took our last grab at food and facilities and met back up for the concert. It was a lot of fun! (minus aggin’ security dude on power trip)
So, I don’t care what you’ve heard… there are no better people to hang out with than your family. No one else on the planet truly understands and appreciates your weirdness. We should do this every year!! (with or without Weird Al)
The Jenkins/Groces/Modesitts are available to rent for parties. “When you are in need a slightly “cooler” family than the one you currently own.” Low prices! Free financing until 2005!
July 29th, 2003 at 11:01 pm
Okay, so Mom said I needed to post my review of the day on Sunday, so here goes:
Alex and I rode the Beast together and were quite pleased that despite the teasings of Brian that they weren’t going to wait for us, we got on and off before they did. 
So much for the tradition of stretching our arms forward in the car to be the “first one” to arrive in Ohio - Sarah and I slept all the way there. (I don’t remember anything after admiring the hyperfix area downtown.) I woke up about 15 minutes out from the park and got “caffinated” with a can of Dr. Pepper to prepare for the day (which was filled with homstarrunner lines, particularly of the Teen Girl Squad variety).
I probably had the best time with my cousin Alex (who is going into eighth grade and is also about to pass me in height). All day long Amanda and the “young” bunch were yelling to us to slow down (us an our long legs).
I rode in the front of the Son of Beast (by myself), so I can mark that one off my list. The only one left on my list (at King’s Island) is Face/Off (unless you want to try and count Reptar). And is it just me getting old, or did somebody grease the wheels of the roller coasters? They’ve never been that fast before!
As for ride critiques: Wild Thornberry’s Log Ride - SO GOOD!!! A Paramount first! It’s actually an improvement on the old ride. (You’re guaranteed to get wet!) Scooby Doo - SO GOOD!!! A marked improvement over Phantom Theater, at least I think it was… I didn’t really look at anything inside; I was too busy concentrating on hitting the targets and whoopin’ up on Sarah and Amanda. (But I only got 330.) Tomb Raider (running this year!) - SO GOOD!!! Not bad, but short (compared to the long line). Delirium (running!) -SO GOOD!!! Fun, but short (again, compared to the line)! I will say this though, if it had been any longer, it might have ceased to be fun (and would have become “The Return of the Egg McMoofin”).
And now, a critique of Paramount’s take-over: Drop Zone has been around for 4 years now and STILL breaks down on a regular basis? (This is the first year Amanda has gotten to ride it!) And what happened to the Sweet Tooth?! (First you take my Smurf Voyage, my Keel Boats, my Old Fashioned Cars, and my King Cobra; now you take my ice cream!) And replacing those beloved rides with “pay as you play” attractions (X-treme Flyer, Lazer Tag, bungee trampolines, virtual reality, and a bungee ball) does not make up for it (especially while the cost of admission continues to rise).
But Weird Al - he was the real reason for going on Sunday, and it was worth it. (Though I agree with Dad: I think the sound guy fell asleep and leaned forward right onto the bass levels.) The medley gave everybody a little bit of what they wanted to hear (including classics like “Lasagna” and new ones like “Ebay”), but I about fell off my bleacher when he started singing “Melanie”. That’s one of my favorites! (I have fond memories of listening to it on my walkman and singing along in the backyard.) No amount of rain could put a damper on the concert (but a power trippin’ Skippy… I give him, the “Double Deuce”!)
July 31st, 2003 at 11:51 am
All I can say is LOL!!! What a great depiction of the one day vacation. I stand impressed. ;-D Teresa you’ve got a talent for expressing your thoughts in writing and your blog is a very enjoyable read.
in Him,
Cris
July 31st, 2003 at 12:19 pm
Man….this all makes me jealous (”We got jealous”)
Hmmm, do you think I could have skipped out on the Koehler Family Dinner even though it was partially for my birthday?
July 31st, 2003 at 3:23 pm
Wow, sounds like a pretty fun day. I was actually at Kings Island the day before [yes, I left my pregnant wife who is bored from bed rest at home]
But she was in good company with her Mom, Matt, Carissa, & the kids stopping by. I must say “Face Off” and “Flight of Fear” were my favorites, but enjoyed everything I rode, except maybe Tomb Raider because we had to wait forever and the ride was very short. Not to mention the crazy drunk people who were screaming strange obscenities throughout the wait after repeatedly being asked and told to be quiet. All in all it was a great day though.
I enjoyed reading all of the commentary, I laughed out loud several times.
August 2nd, 2003 at 8:52 pm
I thought the comments wouldn’t be complete without hearing from the third part of the trilogy:
The Modesitts
OBERVATIONS:
Everyone is always happy on the way there.
Hotels with the pool chemical bromine suck. (Isn’t swimming a synonym for vacation?)
Security guards don’t like remote control devises.
The most intelligent, hard-headed, opinionated, strong-willed people stick together. (Katie and Alex)….hehehe!
People who have the combined weight of around 750 pounds should probably not all ride in one log.
Winning soda caps are a very good thing @ $3.75 a pop.
Jesus really is the only thirst quencher in an amusement park. (Or anywhere)
Very few things are better than experiencing Sponge Bob in 3D with your sister.
Pixie Sticks do strange things to partial wet, tired, hormonal diminishing women and should only be ingested under the close supervision of a doctor. (i.e., dancing gangsta hands)
After spending the day with the twelve of us, Weird Al didn’t seem that weird.
NEW CATCH PHASES:
Is that my burger?
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
Completeeeeeeeeee!
August 6th, 2003 at 5:27 pm
I would like to add to one comment from Angie. She mentioned “Winning soda caps are a very good thing @ $3.75 a pop.” Her son Stephen won five or six free bottles of pop from the caps on 20 oz. bottles (I think he only purchased one bottle).